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Lemmikanekdoot 1) You look at the calender for the month of November, and scratch off days 25, 26, 27, 28, 29 and 30.

2) When you fail a test at school and tell your teacher, "alas, I have failed you, please forgive me!"

3) In science class your teacher asks what is the main cause of meteor showers, and you awnser, "mage wizards."

4) When you are counting your money and refer to it as gold coins.

5) When you go to your friends house and take a sandwich from his fridge and say, "My sources indicate the operation was a stunning success, our theives have robed 1 bushels of food".

6) When you eat that same very sandwich, and say, "1 bushels eaten".

7) When you refer to the population of your country as peasants.

8) When you beleive you heard a story on CNN about an Afghan theif propaganding a US soldier to live in Afghanistan.

9) In a social studies exam, it asks you to state one of the main causes of population growth in the baby boomer era, and you awnser, "the spell love and peace".

10) When every 12-15 years, you ask the store to find a calender with year 0 on it.

11) When you take your child to see a magician, then he does a little trick, and you ask, "how many runes was that?"

12) When you beleive homes actually employ people.

13) When you think Russia is landfat.

14) When you won't go to school now, since they're useless this age.

15) When you laugh at Holland for having too many mills.

16) When you ask people to shoot you so that you can become undead.

17) When you slap your wife for producing a baby human when your playing as an orc.

18) You go to a Jenny Craig diet session yelling "You're all landfat!!!"

19) Your child is caught in school for stealing and you start looking at his science homework.

20) When you can never enter a web-page, without removing "Cookies" first.

21) When you start training your child to be a freak so he has a chance of beating-up kids bigger than him.

22) When you, as soon as something goews wrong, balme it on Mehul.

23) If you are stealing your friends pencils to become famous.

24) If you ask for money from your room mates to buy and sent a iguana as a dragon to next room

25) If you are caught at night while broking into a house and tell the policemen he didn't have any watchtowers

26) If you can't understand why your government employs more police to catch the thieves while a higher thief ratio will do the trick

27) When you are afraid to borrow from your friends, cause you fear to get a -trade balance.

28) When you masterbate, you cast invisibility so your not caught.

29) When you rent a movie from the store about gang banging and wonder why there's nothing about Utopia in it.

30) When you hear on the TV about the Northern Alliance taking more land, you swear and curse about them being multis, cheaters, and not playing fair.

31) When you have sex with your gf you mumble...

Your forces arrive at (name here) and the battle begins.. Lord Jim, your soldiers have successfully conquered the enemy's land! We lost 10 calories in the struggle. Our forces will again be available in 12 hours.

32) You set your alarm clock to 00.55, 02.55, 04.55, 06.55, so that you can train every hour.

33) You finially logout of utopia and realise your house is empty, and you have no idea where your kids and wife are.

34) You have an utopia related web-site.

35) You're out of cash and your modem breaks down, you go to the streets to sell your clothes to get a new modem.

36) Your friends on utopia were above your real life friends on your Christmas card list.

37) You yell at twins for being multis

38) You don't think 2000 acres is very much

39) You steal things, and then wait day for your stealth to go up before stealing more

40) You don't consitter new people dieing anything unusual

41) You constantly ask people for their kingdom numbers instead of their address/phone number

42) When the people with the white coats are dragging you away... and you yell: " NO really! I really AM a King. My Kingdom needs me, I'm supposed to declare war in two hours!!"

43) When you walk past hospitals and remark to a friend: "What a waste of acres"

44) When you wake up at 3:15 AM because you know that the guy who hit you will have his troops coming back in 30 minutes and yours will be back in 5, and you absolutely MUST hit the bastard

45) When you pass up the opportunity to go out drinking with your friends because you have a war scheduled in a few hours

46) When you're at the bar and you notice they have an internet terminal, and you check up on your province, despite the bizarre and incessant heckling of your friends

47) When you login from work daily, have Angel installed on your workstation, you write your forum posts in Outlook so they look like e-mails, then quickly cut and paste them in the forums

48) When you brag to your friends about how honorable you are, but in RL, you're an absolute prick

49) When you walk around feeling good all day, and when you can't quite put your finger on why you're in such a good mood, and it dawns on you that it was because you climbed 5 places in the rankings on the last update

50) When your first thought about applying to a new job is whether they'll have a good internet connection and a loose enough firewall that you can play Utopia

51) When you think the voting process in Utopia should replace the method that your country elects its leaders

52) When you use Utopian colloquials in RL discussions... someone gets fired at work and you pass the comment that the poor guy "Really got Mehuled that time"

53) When it hasn't rained for 16 days, you wonder who cast the Drought.

54) When you make a list of 53 reasons to know you play too much Utopia...

55) When you take a seat at the very back of your computers class so you can play without your teacher noticing.

56) When you're playing poker with your buddies and, when the cards are shuffled, you start yelling about how that won't stop cheaters and it just breaks up honest Kingdoms

57) When writing a letter you start with, To the Honorable (name) and end with your Utopian name

58) When you're in history class and your teacher is talking about a new King taking over the throne, and you ask how many newbies voted for themselves and did that create a problem with getting enough votes?

59) You take a pencil from a friend's desk when they aren't looking and wonder how much honor you just gained.

60) When you beat up strangers frequently and claim that you will stop once people begin addressing you as "Count"

61) When youre shouting when it rains " Damn wizards! who do you think you are!"

62) After being attacked you get so pissed off that you hack the guy, find out where he lives, drive 1500 miles, run in his house, steal all his food and money then run off screaming.. OPERATION WAS A STUNNING SUCCESS!!!!

63) When you argue with your science teacher that missiles cannot move faster than people, because they have no attack time advantage for flying.

64) When you go to shave in the morning, and realize you have pointy ears or wings. (i gotta get new friends)

65) When you see a mouse and you say "Damn Vermin!"

66) When you pick a old sandwich out of the back of your refrigerator and see the mold and say "Damn you Undead and your Plague!"

67) When you walk door to door asking your neighbors to vote you into Monarchy.

68) When you scream Mehul's name, instead of your girlfriends name while the two of you are having sex.

69) When you say magicians can't do magic.

70) When you refer to little kids as Newbies.

71) When the sales tax in your area goes up and you start grumbling about the greed spell.

72) If you bump yourself into a wall after being hit. Total acer loss in meters is the dictance you have to run to the wall.

73) You watch a gang mug and old lady and say - "that was honorable"
As the granny gets up she is sideswiped by a car and you mutter about random grabbers.

74) ??) When you see World War 2 as a big alliance war.

75) If you just made a grab using bloodlust and fanatisicm, you find that you cannot stop killing people on your way to school.

76) You get caught for looking in neighbors windows and say you were doing a SOM.

77) When you cast a anonymity and hit an annoying teacher and think he won't have a clue who hit him.

78) You get caught graffiting "MEFOOL SUCKS" on public property.

79) when u have a shrine to mehul.

80) You resign from your job because you had nightmares.

81) when u walk around asking for a Mystic Vortex when you have a flu or cold.

82) You think you know the answer to all the food problems in the world; Cast Natures Blessing.

83) Laugh at Afganistan for having a sucky TB after the US aiding.

84) When you give countries kingdom:island numbers.

85) You wonder about how England could have lost their part of North America, because civil wars are accually immpossible.

86) When you wonder about your neighbors having more money while you have more bankaccounts and acres.

87) You threaten to have a guy razed for talking crap by your big avian buddies.

88) wonder why the US would bomb Afghanistan while it can surely expose their terrorists or just turn 10% of their land into watch towers.

89) Send a letter to the president of Somalia that he should get a higher tpa and THEN try the 0% farms thing.

90) You spit at the middle-east alliance for letting their provinces be gangbanged by western forces.

91) when going out, leaving your baby alone at home because babysitting is illegal.

92) When telling your students you have cast Mind Focus on them and expect the 500 page book to be read in a week instead of 2.

93) When telling the principal or your boss you dont like the way he is ruling the kd so you wont vote for him anymore.

94) When your workpartners at work are lazy, you begin to think of the 'Ghost Workers'-spell...

95) When you hear about the Twin Towers of America being destroyed. You scream quick steal all the food, money and some black ops.

96) You start complaining to UN about the overpowers of certain races.

97) You set a no "black ops" rule in a fight with the local bully.

98) You complain to University Professors as they don't cheapen your studies.

99) You laugh at fantasy novels when you read people suiciding on the undead.

100) You wait painfully searching the net for that extra five minutes before logging on just to make sure you got that 20 hour bonus gold.

101) You fund science research on becoming narcoleptic, then get a HUGE alarm clock set to ring every hour, in order to get some decent sleep while at the same time being able to be logged in 24/7 and actually DOING something in Utopia.

102) Buy a lifetime supply of injectable food, sleeping drugs and cofein, and have an engineer/medic buddy of yours build a machine that constantly feeds you, injecting coffein every time it's xx:55 and sleeping drugs at xx:20.

103) You wonder WHY bird nests don't always have 30 eggs in them.

104) When you see a short fat man in a drive-in junk food buying two BigMacs and a huge coke you immediatly address him as "dear dwarf buddy"

105) You spend half an hour reading the first 104 reasons and decide that 102 of them actually happened to you (except 17 and 33 : you actually have no wife)...

106) Start a AUAA club (Anonymous Utopia Adicts Association)... but the club's agenda is NOT getting over playing Utopia, people DON'T stand up and say "Hello, I'm Bob and I'm a Utopiaholic"... noooo... actually it's a club of Utopians that militate for a non-race-specific Anonimity spell

107) You have no trouble of adding several new "signs" of "too much Utopia" over the ones existing... and start wondering how many days will it be until it would become "Top 1000 reasons..."

108) When you thinks its odd that your gf's stable only houses 1 horse.

109) you write your goverment telling them to build more mills to get rid of the debt

110) When you hear about a building being blown up by terrorists and you start campaigining to have Meteor Showers weakened

111) When you hear that there's going to be a meteor shower tonight and you ask your neighbors to help you send a few showers back in retaliation.

112) When you read this and still now a few things to add

113) Start staying up at nights and sleeping (4 hours 55 minutes max) at day, because 'most people sleep then and you get attacks in with your barracks'

114) You think it might make going to the store and back quicker if you'd just build some more barracks.

115) Whey you ask a student what they are going to do when they leave school and they reply they are going into the military - you ask if they are going to train as a Griffin or a Drake

116) When you actually spend your time thinking up things to add to this

117) When you constantly try to cast ToG in real life-but fail because you are human.

118) When you ask people what they are going to be when they grow up, and laugh when they reply. As if they really have a choice!

119)When u here about the US capturing Afghani soldiers u wonder why the US doesnt put them in dungeons so later on they can help in an attack

120)When u gangbang your friend because u thought he was a multi

121) When you read this and come up with a really lame one that you sorta gotta explain why it is such a bad one, because you used maximum verbosity and were incongruent and unable to string two thoughts together, so that nobody thinks it is funny.

122)You read stupid lists like this in a utopia forum.

123) when yoou orc have eat an undead who was a dwarf who was killed by an avian who opened a can of whoopass and tripped on elf and faeries ate your whoopass (cause you suck (obviously)) and orcs have infested with anonymity

124)You see a new kid in your neighborhood so you decide to do a crystal ball on him you learn more about him.

125)You say that the United State's utilization is bad because average homes only hold about 4-5 people in it, when really they can hold 25.

126)You wonder what kind of race and personality Osama is.

127) when u type numbers as kd numbers

128) when you write "110k" on your math homework instead of 110,000

129) when you had to be in bed 15 minutes ago but you stayed up late and got in trouble for reading these and posting your own...

130) When you offer to make a new guide for Mehul (I'm guilty of this one)

131) When you post risky posts under a different name so as not to ruin your reputation on the boards

132) When you actually venture over to the Politics board because you've read every post on B&S and Strategy and replied

133) When you write to Mehul and he actually listens (mods don't count!)

134) When you such a pathetic life to read top 100 reasons.

135) When you go with your two sons to set fire to a local farm, and one of your sons gets captured by the farmer, and when your wife asks where Timmy is, you say, "We lost 1 thief in the process, but the operation was a stunning success! We torched 1 enemy farms!" When your wife asks where the hell Timmy is, you say "Don't worry, if we're lucky he will not rat on us."

136) When a survey asks your race and you mark "Other", then write in "Elf"

137) when you don't have time to post to this topic; you're too busy working on your strategy for Age 24

138) You find the secret location your wizards cast spells from.

139) You try and use propaganda at your school to convince people to come over to your house.

140) When you fall into a hole you curse the mage who casted pitfalls

141) You turn down sex to attack the landfat orc!

142) You read the Utopian forums to kill an hour because you've spent all your gold training military.

143) You wonder why your own govt. doesn't use inspire military to save cost and train them faster.

144) Insist that your teacher not delete your test score and legalize answer trading

145) Wonder why magic shows don't feature exploding wizzards

146) Support euthanasia by saying that suiciding is a legit strat

147) When someone dies, you say that the person's just a peasant. He or she'll come back in an hour.

148) Justify the burning of you neighbor's house by saying you couldn't have done it if he didn't declare war on you

149)when you tell ur parents to destroy the house cos u need more watchtowers

150)when u go to the police station when u have been robbed and complain about the ammount of watchtowers

151) u dream of Utopia

152)when u tell ur friends you cant go out cos u got xxx acres coming in, in an hour

153)when u wonder wat Elf lords look like

154)when everytime the utopian date says jan 1st you go to the forums and write "HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

155)you think that if u had casted Love and Peace u could have got in the sack with that chick

156)you tell ur parents u wanna die so u can be undead

157)when they take you to a shrink

158)when you smell sumtin nasty from ur toilet and u grab a hankerchief and place it over ur face mumbling "plague, plague"

159) You think than a military force can have only 4 types of units, plus some war horses and some merc.

160) You watch a medieval film and you see a bunch of archers who are attacking, your reaction is: "Heh, they cant attack, they are def. spec!!!"

161) You wonder why USA dont attack Canada, because they are soooo landfat.

162) When you think than it is a good decision to put 50% of a country workforce in the army

163)when u try to learn like 10 different languages so u can talk to all the utopian players from around the world

164) when you tell the new president that since he is a human he should train archers and knights to the army.

165) walking downtown in a ghetto, thinking: why didn't they read the guide.

166) When you wonder why people move into cities and not out from them, because they already hold more people than an acre can hold.

167) When you refuse to move into an apartment because "I'm Human and there are already 25 peasants in that Home!!"

168) When you throw away jewels, calling them runes, and try to cast Crystal Ball on the Honeymoon Suite in your hotel.

169) When you wonder why you, as a War Hero, aren't getting more Honor by beating up little kids after declaring war on them.

170) When you are amazed that America hasn't found bin Laden, because "All those attacks made must have brought in the acres he's hiding in by now!"

171) When you wonder why the production of runes in America hasn't been decreased since Sept. 11.

172) When you are stumped as to why you, an Avian, can't fly.

173) When your friend says he is going to grow up to be a scientist, you ask if he is going to study Alchemy or Channeling.

174) When you sit at your computer for ten minutes trying to think of things to contribute to this list

175) you refer your parents as the king and queen and your bro.s and sis's as princes, and princesses...

176) When you go to the bank and demand that they increase your income by 40%, and they say they will only give you 5% interest, and you try to explain that you aren't a MERCHANT you are a ROGUE but you are still using banks!

177) When you see a loser at school get called a 'fairy' by some mean kids and you say "you better be careful, he has access to all spells".

178) When you set fire to all birds' nests because 30 peasants a home is just so unfair!

179) When a hot girl asks if you want to go horseriding with her you reply "are you crazy? I'm an Avian, I can't use War Horses!"

180) When someone asks you why they don't have flying cars yet, you explain that it's because Mind Focus is such a difficult spell to cast.

181) When you wonder why Bin Laden didn't log off immediately after attacking with Anonymity so it wouldn't be obvious it was him who attacked.

182) When you try to stop the construction of some woodlands because barren lands will help keep your util high.

183) When you suspect that the European Union is going to Paradise England up to a huge acreage to destroy the United States.

184) When you complain to your friends about how countries like Afghanistan at 500 acres shouldn't be able to do so much damage to a large attacker like the USA.

185) When you read about a World War II battle with a high number of total casualties in History class and you ask your teacher whether the attacker was using Bloodlust or whether the defender had Pitfalls cast on them, or both.

186) When you wonder if the Queen of England gets GBed a lot in wars.

187) When you wonder why Afghanistan didn't just get Pakistan and Somalia to warblock so the US couldn't declare war.

188) When you wonder how the Prince of Wales manages to keep his honor. He must be Shepherd.

189) When you pay a company to print a full size poster of the utopia angel icon to put on your wall

190)when you forget that you actually are not an orc

191) when you walk by schools and universities, you remark, we should have more of those

192) Three attractive women come to you in a bar and suggest a gangbang. You decline digustedly, claiming that it would be unfair and they have no honor.

193) You keep telling people magicians can't cast spells (or tricks), only wizards can, because magicians are the def specs of faeries.

194) You keep bugging banks for your low income, they shouldn't give you only 5% interest, but far more income, without giving something to them first.

195) You keep wondering why third world countries like Afganistan always have droughts, what did they do wrong?

196) When you're in the woods, you actually believe bouncing upon a big tree many times will give you gold.

197) when you get caught for shoplifting, and plead not guilty coz walmart is a multi, who should be deleted anyway

198)when you create your own faith dedicated to mehul patel

199) When you advice the new president, that since he is a human, he should have only archers and knights in the army.

200) when you christen your baby girl mehul and name your dog Swirve

201) Your TIME Mag. subscriber name is Baron Artanis.

202) When you are puzzled why Americans are worried about Sept. 11 after all, all they lost were 20 runes a day.

203) When you know Mehul's middle name.

204) When you give up your firstborn to Mehul to take away the Dwarf food penalty.

205) When making love to your gf, you shout out Mehuls name. Twice.

206) When you ask your parents for food every hour because you are being gangbanged and need supplies before the change of the hour to avoid starvation.

207) You set your windows wallpaper to your province Growth graph from Glorats top 2k webpage ;P

208) You're already on the island lists with a 3 week old province this late in the age

209) you don't do your science homework and when your teacher asks where it is you say "I have Amnesia ill get more wizzies next time"

210) you are scared to give someone a pensil becasue it might explode.

211) you stop locking your doors and insist that you have clear sight

212) befor you start building your new house you ask the arcitect if he has haste cast.

213) When going to the bathroom can now be put off for hours because a war is going on and something might happen while you are gone

214) You talk to kingdom members on ICQ more than you talk to your nextdoor neighbour(what was his name again?)

215) You read and write in your kingdom forums every day, but haven't picked up a book in months and only have a vague recollection of how a pen works  
Lemmikluuletus Enne muutub meri muruks,maha kallan viinagi, enne närin türa puruks, sind ei niku iialgi ! 
Riigid kus käinud Tallinn,Kapa-Kohila 
Keeled Inglise keel,13375p34|< 
Söök ja jook Vesi ja kaigas. 
Sport Korvpall ,tõstmine 
Lemmiklinke http://www.teenslut.com
http://www.xxx.com
http://www.adult.com
http://www.sex.com
http://www.elva.ee
 

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